


Dating 101 aka Tony Stark Is Not a Love Guru and Should Not Be Treated as One

by fandomfrolics



Series: (When I Grow Up) I'll Be Stable [3]
Category: Marvel
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Epistolary, F/M, Friendship, Gen, Gen or Pre-Slash, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-20
Updated: 2013-11-20
Packaged: 2018-01-02 02:51:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1051652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandomfrolics/pseuds/fandomfrolics
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A brief series of texts chronicling one Steven Rogers failed experiment with the art of dating.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dating 101 aka Tony Stark Is Not a Love Guru and Should Not Be Treated as One

**Author's Note:**

> Until I go back and fiddle with the CSS, this may be easier to read if you make your browser window skinnier.

11/13/2013 Wed

Sharon Carter just texted me.

1:42pm 

Sam says she likes me.

1:43pm 

Andddddd?

1:45pm 

And what?

1:45pm 

Well do you like her back?

1:45pm 

Dunno

1:46pm 

So are you gonna ask her out?

1:46pm

Dunno

1:46pm 

Steve.

1:47pm 

I don’t know! I mean, I’ve never done this brie

1:47pm 

before

1:47pm 

what do I say??

1:47pm 

hey sharon let’s go eat together and then make out

1:47pm 

So you DO like her

1:48pm

No

1:48pm

Yes

1:48pm 

I don’t know

1:49pm 

Steve.

1:49pm 

Okay so say I do like her

1:50pm

I mean, it’s not like I’ve ever

1:50pm

I don’t know how to

1:50pm

You did NOT just send me a snapchat vid on how to kiss.

1:53pm

You want to see it again, don’t you

1:53pm

…no.

1:53pm

Are you sure that’s how it goes? I mean it doesn’t seem very hygienic

1:55pm

Steve.

1:56pm

Ugh, fine

1:58pm

11/15/2013 Fri

So?

11:36pm 

So what?

11:36pm 

Don’t play coy with me Steve Rogers. How was it???

11:36pm 

Don’t think you got enough question marks in there

11:37pm 

???????????????????????????????

11:37pm

Thanks.

11:38pm

STEVE

11:38pm

What? It was fine. We went out and talked and it was fine

11:39pm

Did you kiss her??

11:39pm

Yes

11:44pm

And???

11:44pm

It was…wet. And tasted like mustard.

11:45pm

Like mustard??

11:45pm

Wait.

11:45pm

You took her for hot dogs???

11:45pm

I think we’re going to have to put a limit on the number of question marks you use in one text convo

11:46pm

Why the hell would you take her for hot dogs???

11:46pm

STEVE

11:46pm

??????????????????????????????????????

11:46pm

I don’t know! She seemed like she was a pretty casual kind of girl, I mean that’s what I liked about her!

11:47pm

And you know, Tony, some of us are not just like rolling around in bathtubs full of money

11:47pm

…

11:48pm

I’ve only done that once.

11:48pm

So are you going to ask her out again?

11:49pm

Dunno

11:50pm

I mean tbh the tongue thing was kinda gross

11:50pm

There was tongue?? STEVE ROGERS

11:50pm

Whatever, you’ve done way more

11:51pm

Yeah but I’m a senior

11:51pm

You’re 3 months youngers than me!

11:51pm

Yeah but I’m a senior

11:52pm

So you gonna see her again?

11:52pm

…maybe

11:53pm

SHIT

11:55pm

What?

11:55pm

Steve?

11:57pm

??????????????????????????????????????

11:58pm

Well.

12:01am

I guess that’s that.

12:01am

What happened?

12:01am

She just messaged me and I ACCIDENTLKGLY SENT HER THE TEXT I WAS TUPINH TO YOU

12:02am

Hahahahaha omg what did you send her?

12:02am

‘Kissing her was sorta like eating mustard-covered soggy calamari’

12:03am

Hahahahahahahahahahaha

12:03am

I am a horrible person

12:04am

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha

12:04am

I’m glad you find so much amusement in my pain

12:04am

Hahahahahahahahahahaha

12:05am

…

12:05am

I’m turning off my phone now

12:06am

Okay okay I’m done!

12:06am

h

12:07am

a

12:07am

h

12:07am

BYE

12:07am

Steeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeve come back

12:09am

**Author's Note:**

> And then Tony went and broke into Steve's house through his bedroom window and Steve screamed but then they spent the rest of the night playing video games and talking about how Sharon Carter kissed like a squid. Or something.


End file.
